Emotional Intelligence and Peace
When teaching my Emotional Intelligence (EI) skill-building programs I make the point early and often that there are two fundamental EI competencies that are crucial to success: Emotional Self-Awareness (being aware of what you are feeling throughout the day and evening), and Emotional Self-Management (having the skill be choose the emotions you want to experience and to be able to transform out of negative, draining emotions into positive productive emotions and behaviors). Negative emotions get triggered whenever we perceive something as a threat — a physical threat or a psychological or symbolic threat. We all can easily think of things that might be a physical threat. Psychological or symbolic threats are a less obvious but just as potent in their impact or our thinking and health. The symbolic area is where the importance of the word “perceived” is so critical:
- A perceived threat to your security (“Did you hear there is going to be a 10% downsizing in February?!)
- A perceived threat to our self-esteem
- A perceived threat to your dignity
- Being treated unjustly
- Being insulted or demeaned
- Being frustrated in pursuing a goal that is important to you
The more you can manage these negative perceptions and emotions, the more peaceful your life becomes. In my experience of coaching people following our EI programs, the nature of developing one’s Emotional Intelligence shows up as the experience of peace, well being, joy, contentment, compassion, harmony, wisdom, security, and an ability to know and flow with the life experiences put before us. Peace is not the lack of conflict, fighting, or anger. Peace is our natural state as human beings. Personal peace is the natural state that we experience when we eliminate the frustration, anxiety, fear, worry, etc.
What we are looking for all along is not necessarily truth but to be content and peaceful and purposeful during our experience on earth, moment to moment, day to day, year to year. I believe Peace of Mind is what most people are after.
Our dualistic mind (right/wrong, love/hate, liberal/conservative, etc.) cannot give that to us naturally and permanently. Without Peace of Mind there will not be Peace on Earth or Heaven on Earth. Peace of Mind through the Infinite Mind/Intelligence does bring happiness, contentment and joy… no matter the external circumstances.
The ultimate benefit of developing your Emotional Intelligence is peace of mind. Peace is an attribute in you. This is the rest and peace that passes all understanding. You can see it modeled in nature in a field of corn, an orchard of apple trees, waves on a body of water. You cannot find your inner peace outside of yourself. Living a life of peace is a great objective to aim for. Our greatest spiritual leaders have told us that for thousands of years. One in particular was very straightforward about it when He said, “Peace Be With You.” A way to achieve that objective is to focus on improving your Emotional Self-Awareness and Emotional Self-Management.
